Over the year that followed, I hit the gym every day, took a prescription diet pill that was later banned (who remembers Fen Phen?), had so much artificial energy that many nights I walked the track at the local high school's football field, lost 80 pounds total, and then asked for a divorce. Hah, take that!
And then - my gym closed, I lost my job, and I was just a little lost in my new single life - so bit by bit, bite by bite of comfort food, I gained back half the weight I'd lost during that year.
That was the beginning of my dieting roller coaster ride. It took a while for me to recognize that slippery downward slope I was on, but once I did, I went looking for a way to mend and regain the ground I'd lost. Back then, Ma Huang (otherwise known as ephedra) was legal in high doses, and easily accessible in the United States so I jumped on the band wagon - and wow, did the weight come off quickly - at first (and am I ever lucky I didn't suffer a heart attack in the process!). I drugged my way back down to about 217 pounds, before my body got used to the stimulant and I plateaued.
Life changed, my divorce was finalized, I found a new job, lost it and found another one, relocated from RI to MA, started making better money, and decided I could afford a gym membership again - and also rediscovered a childhood passion of horseback riding. It didn't take long for me to fall back in love with riding - so much that at 28 years old, I finally bought my first horse. With that, came working at the horse farm, and (for the first time ever) healthy weight loss - - no (dangerous) magic pills involved.
With the daily exercise, my weight slowly improved, though I was still missing one major element - - nutrition. Despite frozen dinners, loaded with sodium and preservatives, way too many carbs, not nearly enough protein and veggies, and a horrible sense of portion control, I carved away just shy of 30 pounds, and plateaued - for YEARS - at 180.
Both my parents were overweight, and in the '70's and '80's, as I grew up, there just wasn't an emphasis on diet, eating organic, GMO's, etc, like there is now. So I never learned about good nutrition. Had I, my whole life may have been different. As it was, I never ate breakfast, hated drinking water (I was a diet soda and iced tea girl), and got my vegetables mixed in with the pasta, sauce, and cheese in the cardboard container my dinner usually came in.
In my early thirties, though, things changed again. I met someone who swore to me that if I tried it "his way" for three months, I'd be able to lose weight again. I thought, I'll show him - and agreed. Really, how could I lose? Either I got to be right, or if I was wrong, I would lose weight - win/win for me! And luckily for me, I was wrong. I started eating a small breakfast, developed an even better, more consistent exercise/workout routine (half hour walking every morning without fail), and started eating protein bars. Still processed, still loaded with preservatives, but it was an improvement on what I had been eating - a step in the right direction - which, after those three months, rewarded me with a new low on the scale of 165 pounds.
I held steady for a while there, but eventually started creeping back up again, as I started eating real food again - still loaded with sodium, covered in gooey melted cheese, still really bad for me. Just because I was eating protein bars and breakfast, didn't mean, after all, that I had learned anything about nutrition, portion control, etc.
HOWEVER
I knew more than I did before. And there were still plenty over the counter diet drugs out there that I hadn't yet tried. So game on, I started trying and taking them all - if it was on sale, I bought it, and took it till the bottle was empty. I don't think the pills helped much, except for to make me think I was committed to losing weight again, so motivating me to join a gym and literally become manic about working out. I started a new routine where, every night after work and dinner, I'd head to the gym at about 9pm and get on the elliptical for about an hour. You can burn a ton of calories on an elliptical in an hour. And I did. But I didn't know the first thing about lifting weights - something that would have helped me along my journey more than I could have imagined back then. And I still had piss poor nutrition.
Thankfully, one of the gentlemen who worked behind the counter at night, needed some way to make the nights, and his shift, go by faster, so he made me his pet project - took me under his wing, taught me how to use the nautilus equipment, and my long term transformation (yes, long term - by that time, it'd been over a decade since I lost the first pound back in 1994) took another turn and a leap forward. With his help, and the encouragement of my then girlfriend, who took over helping me with gym equipment after the guy at the gym grew tired of me, who actually did understand the concept of good nutrition, and started teaching me by example, I worked my way down to about 135 pounds.
And then - - I got lazy, gained weight (again - yup, yo yo me!), outgrew my jeans, and went searching for my next weight loss "trick". I stared one of the many low carb/no carb diets out there - and it worked really well. BUT - as the only things allowed in the weight loss phase of the diet, were protein and vegetables, I was HUGELY lacking in healthy fats, the vitamins and minerals available in fruits, and the fiber and other nutritional benefits of unrefined carbohydrates. Definitely not a balanced diet. Still though, I lost weight - saw a number on the scale that was smaller than anything I'd seen since I was thirteen years old - 129 pounds! For the first time in my life, I was no longer considered overweight - not even by a pound. I had a healthy BMI. I was wearing a size six.
And after the one minute I saw that mind blowingly low number on the scale, I (yup) got lazy and gained weight! Even though the diet I was on, offered a "how to maintain once you reach your goal" method and plan, I elected not to follow it. What was missing? A support system. Encouragement. Accountability. A partner in crime. Hey, if you're one of the rare breed that can do it all on your own, and don't need to be accountable to anyone besides yourself, more power to ya. I'm not. I know it. I own it. It's mine.
So I watched the scale creep slowly back into the low 140's. My social circle, was obsessed with motorcycle ice cream runs and lunches at places where it was a no brainer to order a burger with fries, extra crispy. And I was more than happy to go along for the ride. Literally. I'd clearly still learned nothing about healthy eating.
And to add insult to injury - pre-menopause was knocking at my door. NO JOKE PEOPLE - the metabolism really does slow down. I always thought it was women making an excuse for getting fat, but it IS REAL.
In the spring of 2015, just over twenty years after my weight loss journey began, and back up into the 150's, I went to a family dinner, and saw my sister in law, who is now my coach, looking better than I'd ever see her look. After having two children, and approaching the big 40, she was thinner than when she married my brother 6 years prior, and in much better shape. She was running 5k obstacle races, and loving it. Her biggest complaint? That her pants were all too big. To have such problems! I started paying more attention to her Facebook posts, and wondering what this 21 Day Fix Beachbody thing was that she kept talking about. Meanwhile, I fought my daily battle against fat and made marginal progress. Eventually I asked about what she was doing, and she gave me all the info. It looked great, but I just wasn't ready to commit. I was being stubborn - I'd lost weight on my own before, and thought I could do it again. But it was getting harder every year. Finally in July 2015, fed up with my failures, I went for it. I ordered my 21 Day Fix challenge pack, with Shakeology, joined a Facebook challenge group (BEST SUPPORT SYSTEM EVER), and for the first time in my life, started learning what true portion control and nutrition is. In my first round, I lost just shy of five pounds and five inches in 21 days. In my second round, I lost another 3 pounds and a couple more inches.
I'm in round three now, and feeling better than I've ever felt in my life. I'm not to my goal yet, but getting there. And I love what I'm doing. My workouts are at home - short, half hour workouts that are incredibly effective because they target multiple muscle groups with each exercise, and keep my heart rate up, an easy to follow portion control eating plan that allows me to eat the foods I love, or healthier versions of them, in reasonable quantities (and I don't feel hungry - honest), with no weighing or calorie counting, and a real understanding of what clean eating is. Eliminating preservatives - really, poison to your body - has been key. And I can't say enough about Shakeology - a fantastic high protein food based shake, filled with extracts from all sorts of superfoods. In fact, thanks to the better nutrition, a huge part of which is the Shakeology, my periods are even bearable now. I used to have debilitating cramps, my legs each felt like they weighed 100 pounds, and I was in so much pain I was miserable. On the "bad days" I'd go through an entire bottle of Pamprin and still hurt. My first period after starting the 21 Day Fix, was almost easy. I took two Pamprin in the morning, out of habit more than anything, and sailed through the rest of the day. I'm almost looking forward to the next one! And the weight loss, while slow (I only have 5-10 pounds to go so it's not going to be fast unless I cut off a limb) is still steady.
And I can't say enough about the support system of the Facebook group. Each round has been incredible. The group leaders are knowledgeable, helpful, positive, and have done the program - some still doing it. The others in the group are encouraging, have great recipes to share, and stories and challenges of their own. And doing this together with them makes me feel like I owe it to them, not just to myself, to succeed. It's like having your own personal cheerleading team pulling for you, as you pull for them.
If a morbidly obese girl of 24, can become a healthy, fit, muscular, dare I say it, thin, woman of 44, anyone can!
If my story spoke to you in any way, if you'd like more information about weight loss, diet, exercise, and nutrition, my life's passion is to help others who are like me. There is no better time than right now to take the first step towards your most beautiful you. sandirides@gmail.com.
